My memoir, To Drink from the Silver Cup: From Faith Through Exile and Beyond begins with my terrifying discovery that there would no longer be a place for me within the devout Protestant community that had been my world. Unable to reconcile the beliefs of my mission childhood in the Navajo Nation with the powerful stirrings of my adolescent sexuality, at a time when same-sex marriage was not marked on any map, I felt forced to leave behind all that I loved. My story tells of the heartbreaking loss of a communion that was both embracing and restrictive. Entering first into exile—the shame of being unwanted in the homeland—I headed into the uncharted territory of new religious, spiritual and political directions. Always striving for authenticity, continuing to long for home, forty years after taking leave, I embarked upon a deliberate experiment to see if return was possible. I had to acknowledge that too much had changed in me, too little in the church. This is a story for seekers as well as those who have never challenged their held beliefs.
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